Let's start at the very beginning...

I've been anti-blog so far in life. I never thought i had anything important enough to say that needed to be announced to the entire world wide web. Just to be clear... I still don't. Unfortunately, my very best friends are all far away since we left college, and I read their blogs like a stalker just to see what's up day to day. We chat often, but snooping in their blogs makes me feel like they're a bit closer than they really are. So here's my contribution to them... now they can know every mundane aspect of my life too.

A little background:
I've always been a pretty confident person. I live by those age-old cliches:

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again"

and

"If you think you can, or you think you can't- you're right"

I believe that a little extra hard work can compensate for whatever natural talent you were born without. On that note, I think it should be a criminal offense to waste natural talent.

I believe that I live in a country that's all about new ideas and hard working geniuses. We are given every opportunity to do exactly what we like, even if it might be harder than we'd like it to be. That's a gift that I can confidently say 99% of people born in America do not consider at all. I'll be the first to raise my hand- I'm guilty of losing sight of how lucky I am and what wonderful opportunities are available to me.

As I step off my soapbox, I'll tell you the point of the above rant:
I've had a rough 3 years.
I was thrown into reality like a bum outta a bar at 7am- dazed, confused, and completely unprepared to deal with the next day. I graduated college severely in debt, with responsibilities to face that most people don't have to deal with until they're in their 40's. Let's just say my emotional baggage would not have fit into the overhead compartment of a 747 either. I literally felt like I had the world on my shoulders. To say I was terrified would be an understatement.

Anyone that used to give me my pep-talks was either gone from my life or dealing with their own misery. I turned to new people for help. They were compassionate enough to say "it's not your fault" and "you're going through so much, no one expects anything from you in this hard time." As nice as that was, it wasn't helpful at all.

I had always turned to my father for a good shot in the arm. He gave me the confidence and the tough love to do it all on my own. Without him, I've been in a tailspin. I have good days and bad days. The bad days have turned from anxiety attacks to whining. I hate whining. I hate it more when I'm doing the whining (another reason I don't love the idea of blogs).

In the last 3 years, I've grown up alot. In the last 3 years, I've finally figured out that I've got to be able to pep-talk myself. I've got to have the drive and determination within myself to accomplish my own goals. From here on out- it's all up to me.

If I think I can, or I think I can't- I'm right.